Chapter "404"

Director VS Madam

When treating a non-professional as a regular on a TV program, the quickest way is to have them sign with some talent agency. But of course, doing that means the agency takes their cut, so the talent fee naturally goes up.

So, should you just use the non-pro as they are? Well, it's not that simple.

If they're serious and reliably keep to their schedule, it's fine, but a lack of professionalism and not knowing the rules of the TV industry can often lead to trouble.

So, to judge which option would be more cost-effective, you really need to know what that person's character is like. But if you go requesting background checks from investigation agencies or the like, that's just another unnecessary expense.

So, what do you do?

Well, leave it to the experts. For TV, that's TV people. You should investigate the subject's character using methods unique to television. All you need to prepare is a reporting crew of the absolute minimum: a director, without even a reporter, and a cameraperson. You just deploy this team to the subject's neighborhood and have them do some legwork and interviews.

And so, a director wearing a thin windbreaker printed with the TV Teikyo logo and a cameraperson with a TV camera on their shoulder visited the apartment building where Kateshina Ruu lived.

The address information was provided by Yaegashi Kogoro, who had made contact with her the other day. He had shown her his TV Teikyo employee ID and a few photos of himself arm-in-arm with talent at a program wrap party to gain her trust as a TV Teikyo employee before asking for it. Therefore, there's nothing illegal about it.

...

"My, oh my, TV? What show is it??"

As the cameraperson walked with the TV camera on their shoulder and the director in his network-logo jacket, an old woman, immediately interested, called out to them.

Perfect. An old woman like this, full of curiosity and who seems to love gossip, is an ideal target.

"Ah, hello there~! We're from TV Teikyo, but could we maybe have a moment of your time?"

"My, oh my, me!? Oh my~, I'm so flustered, really! So, what's the show? Eh, it's a new program so you can't talk about it yet? My, oh my. Okay, that's fine! I won't tell anyone either! My lips are sealed, squeak! Bwahahahaha!"

Heh heh heh, yes, this is precisely the supernatural power of the TV camera. When an ordinary person who's never been on TV before has a TV camera pointed at them, they get this excited and carried away.

"Ah, well, you see. We're asking about a young woman named Kateshina Ruu-san who lives around here, ma'am, do you happen to know anything?"

"My, oh my, wouldn't that be the daughter from the Kateshina household!? My~, she's become so beautiful, hasn't she~! Until just a little while ago, she was always walking with her head down on the edge of the road, and even if you greeted her, her voice was like a mosquito's buzz. But now, it's like she's bloomed all at once and become so pretty! Truly lovely, isn't it, just like a heavenly maiden!

Oh, it's just no good! I mean, I gave birth to my daughter with such beautiful black hair, but she's always coming home after dyeing it red or yellow or whatnot. And then the cardboard boxes! And oh my, several boxes arrive at once, you know~! And they're all filled with cosmetics and esthetic equipment and such!

I mean~, she already has so much...

And yet, her appearance is like a lion dance, I tell you, it just makes me despair! A lion dance and a heavenly maiden, it's not even a contest, is it! Well, it might be auspicious, I suppose. Bwahaha!

And then, the daughter from the Kateshina household! She's also so strong, you know~! With such a slender body, it feels like dealing with youkai is all in a day's work for her? Yeah, this is really... You know! That whole~, it was just terrible, wasn't it~, Dungeon Standard!

Back then too, you know, she was patrolling this area morning and night without fail, defeating youkai for us~!

Oh, it's just no good. My husband, you see, he says things like, 'That's what we have the Self-Defense Forces for!' and doesn't set a single step outside the house! Well, he might have a point, but still... Isn't it the role of the head of the household to show the spirit of 'I'll protect my family with my own body, even at a time like this!'?

And I just felt so pathetic, you know... I mean, there's a girl, so young, working so hard! I ended up getting competitive and we had a fight, I tell you. Really, if my husband saw me like that, as his wife, it would be just too pathetic...

Ah, and then, and then! The daughter is amazing, but Kateshina-san's wife is also so kind!

See! This apartment building, it caught fire during Dungeon Standard, right~? The flames were burning bright red, and my, it was truly frightening~! And then the electricity and water, even the gas was cut off, right~. And yet, Kateshina-san's wife! Even though she must have been having a hard time herself, thinking 'People probably can't cook and are in trouble,' she busily made meals and distributed them to the neighbors!

I mean~! That woman, she's truly a model housewife, that's the feeling I get~! Really, it makes me bow my head in respect.

And so... We also received various things from the wife, but you just can't only receive, right! So I gave her things like salad oil we hadn't opened yet, and since she said she wanted sake, the whiskey my stingy husband sips little by little, saying 'It's only this kind of thing, but please take it.' You see, you just can't only receive, right?

Then, well, 'My whiskey is gone!' my husband got angry and started making a fuss.

He goes on about the hamburg steak and whatnot, but he gobbled up everything we received, gobble gobble gobble! So I told him! I said, 'I gave that whiskey as a thank you for the hamburg steak you said was so delicious!' Then he had nothing to say back, and my husband just went all shrun. Sigh...

Ah! And then, about that! The daughter from the Kateshina household. She's also very kind to children, you know~!

We have a grandchild, right? Well, because youkai were running wild during Dungeon Standard, they got scared and cried and cried, waaah waaah, you know. But when they looked down from the window and saw the daughter from the Kateshina household, they stopped crying instantly. They started throwing a tantrum, saying they wanted to go see that person!

But well, it was our grandchild's earnest request, so we couldn't just bluntly refuse, right? So, reluctantly, we went down, and it seemed like a lot of such children had gathered at the apartment building's entrance, you know.

Then the daughter from the Kateshina household and her friends, you see. They put on something like a hero show for them! Well, my grandchild was probably happy about that too and was overjoyed, you know. They themselves must have been tired from fighting youkai..., but they didn't show that face to the children at all, you know. Really, with such good smiles.

I've never seen such a kind young lady before!

We have a son over 30 who doesn't get a job and just lazes around the house all the time, but I'd like to make him drink even the grime from under Kateshina-san's daughter's fingernails~!"

"Ha, haa, I see, that's how it was. That sounds like it was quite something. Well, then, we have another interview to get to, so we'll be..."

"Oh my, is that so? I still have so many things I want to talk about?"

"Ah, no. This is plenty. Thank you very much."

"Ah, yes yes! That's right! I haven't told you this story yet!"

But the director and cameraperson were cut off by the old woman...