The Walrus King

Chapter 514: How much wood would a Woodprince chuck if a Woodprince would chuck wood?


Wing Leader Chax observed the battle below and saw the human reinforcements appear out of thin air. This was the 'Teleporter Magic' that Then-God-Emperor-Unca-Varn had spoken of, and the objective that would fulfill his will. With such magic at his disposal, he could conquer many tribes! This was a mighty objective to fight over, but not one he wanted the Krax to claim. Not that it looked like they were going to! He laughed and bared his fangs at the sight of the Krax retreating from battle. You didn't take down a Thunder Beast or Kraptosaur by charging it headlong. You must strike from afar and bring it down with poison.


They bragged continuously about their exalted place at the top of the pyramid, strutting their oversized carcasses in the daily parades. So sad that they had found someone bigger than them. Now it was time for his Wing to show their worth and battle prowess. The Krax might be large, but it was the Croctilidans who were swift and deadly, and none more so than the brave warriors who rode the Feathered-Sky-Hunters of his Wing. He gave the hand signal to form an attack formation with him at the center of the V, and led them into a steep dive. They would unleash a hail of poisoned darts whose force was augmented by the speed of their descent, piercing the toughest of armor and delivering a deadly poison. The oversized pinkskin was doomed and didn't know that his death approached swiftly from the sky.


Focused on their target, the flying lizardmen barely took note of the winged quadruped that was gaining altitude and heading away from the battle, and never saw the deadly predator moving much faster to intercept them. Squirmy had shifted to a sturdier version of herself to properly use her razor-sharp wings. She was slightly larger as a butterfly, but size didn't matter for her method of stealth. Her camouflage hid her from the approaching V of lizards mounted on ugly birds. She was very appreciative of their precision. It allowed her to match their angle and rip along one side of the V, their velocity added to hers, creating enough force that she easily sliced through bone and leathery skin.


One moment, Wing Leader Chax was exulting in the speed of his dive, and the next, his mount cried out as one of its wings was sheared away, and he was tumbling in the air. Behind him, six more of his wing experienced similar fates as one by one, they encountered Squirmie and came out on the losing side. Blood and gore blinded two more of the Wing, and one warrior was knocked from the saddle by tumbling debris. The rest veered away, scattering and taking evasive action as they panicked. Squirmie turned in the air at the top of her attack run and picked out a target. She had time for a quick snack before she needed to join Rolly. Shapeshifting made her hungry, and the bird-things smelled delicious. Chax, the other unmounted Crocs, and the bodies of their skyhunters impacted the ground a hundred feet in front of the fort with heavy thuds, startling everyone. A small cheer went up from some of the soldiers.


Lieutenant Thune took a deep breath. He'd seen the diving creatures and knew what was coming. They'd put up their shields to cover themselves, braced...and he'd seen the attack formation explode into pieces and scatter. Broken-winged birds and riders fell to the ground in front of them with multiple thuds. Try as he might, he couldn't see what had hit them. The winged horse and riders were heading to the giant war-turtle to do something that he hoped was as successful as whatever took out the air attack. This aspect of war was taking some getting used to. Years of studying historical battles had prepared him for small unit tactics, but not covered what to do against fantasy creatures. He grudgingly admitted that Billy was right about needing to get stuck into the game, and glad he'd taken the plunge. It was frightening and glorious, and a great way to use up his vacation days.


"Lieutenant, what the hell just happened?"


"No clue. Just be glad they're on our side. Form that line tighter and shift left ten paces. Make room for the folks just getting to the dance." Then he did a double-take at who was leading the new arrivals. Walking two paces ahead of the squad of fifty new recruits were the Baron and Baroness of Gadobhra. They were dressed for war and looking deadly in their enchanted black and red armor with glowing weapons. Rather than giving orders, the Baron shouted out, "What's our plan today, Lieutenant Thune, and where do you want us?"


Thune pointed at Ozzy. The Butcher turned around and grinned widely at Billy. "Glad to see you. That spot right there is just fine. You'll be swinging along the same flank as Varcel and her Vixens. I'm hitting the center with my brigade and pinning them down. Right and left flanks get to carve them up while we hold the front. There are a hell of a lot of lizards coming this way, but thankfully, not all of them are the big guys. We need to hold them and whittle them down. If they outflank us, it won't be pretty."


Layla stroked the razor-sharp edge of her scythe, eager to see how well it could reap the enemy. Billy had a blackened greatsword that glowed with a pulsing red light. "Carving sounds good to us. We don't have as much power outside of our own lands, but we'll add a little something to help. The two of them cut their hands on their weapons, and surprised everyone present by flicking blood at each unit. A dull red glow enveloped the soldiers' weapons, concentrated on the edges. The contingent from Sedgewick grinned at the added enchantment, but the local troops seemed uneasy and muttered until their commander yelled at them. "It's magic and gives us an additional edge. Be thankful for it, and that someone in the north cares enough to save our asses." The muttering subsided.


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From behind them, Vernon arrived on his Palaquin. He was standing up, brandishing his mace, and his eyes were bright. "Finally, a battle worthy of my ever-growing might. Take me to the front of the line, Ricardo, so I may command my army."


Ricardo was one of four people holding aloft Vernon's palanquin; the rest were from his adventuring group. While the goats were good for traveling, Vern insisted on having bearers so his full range of abilities would be available. They'd been recruited on the promise of experience, gold, and being on the inside when ACME made its next play for control of Genesis. All of them were low-level managers at ACME and were used to the pressure of doing anything they could to move up. They accepted Ricardo's offer easily. Being jealous of all the upgraded gear he was sporting these days had helped convince them. Ricardo saw that a large unit had arrived and was stationing itself in the center, behind Ozzy and a group of contract workers.


"Not a good idea, sir. Your abilities work better from a few ranks back, where you can inspire the troops and act as artillery."


Vernon fingered the handle of his mace. He could feel the power in it, hooked to the large storage battery in the seat of his throne. Smiting was a fun part of fighting, and he owed it to the troops to be there for them, cheering from behind. "Like I said, up front, just behind that unit."


"Of course, sir." Ricardo moved to the spot, followed by three very nervous priests. They hadn't expected to be in battle with the minions of the false God-Emperor so soon, or surrounded by so many humans. Even with the disguising robes that DammitBilly had provided, they had gotten some strange looks. They began the crooning chant that would bring fortune to their armies and misfortune down upon their foes, and hoped one of the Ascended God-Emperors would hear and bless their actions. They saw that the Krax had quickly chosen a new Claw Leader to replace the one lost in battle.


Claw Leader Urrak wasted no time gathering every warrior, builder, messenger, and lesser priest into a huge, ungainly unit and got them marching. They lost time as the different tribes argued about precedent and their place in 'The Parade'. It infuriated Urrak, and he had to cave in several skulls to get the bickering to cease. The priest in nominal command of their expedition was wasting time bringing Thunderbeast to the battle. By the time it got here, he planned on being inside the human village and celebrating. The beasts were notoriously slow to turn and be coaxed into another charge. He began addressing his troops. "The large human must fall first. Its fire does not reach as far as our arrows. All archers will target it. Turn it into a porcupine and watch it topple. Priests, invoke the Snake God and put the Curse of Sothteck upon it to increase the deadliness of our poisons. The Krax will lead the charge, as we always do, shattering their line. The rest of you will stab their legs, kill the wounded upon the ground. Glory is ours today as we fulfill the will of Then-God-Emperor-Unca-Varn!" They began to move toward the village, moving to a slow run, screaming their warcries as the priests chanted from the rear. A half-mile distant, the Thunderbeast began turning around.


Ozzy glanced at his crew. It was a good bunch of people who had spent months butchering in Gadobhra, running the smaller dungeons to build up Enhancement Points, and increasing their levels. All were at least Tier three, and some, like Jorges, Jon, and Cham, were halfway through Tier Four. He looked at the two lumberjacks, covered in their bark armor. "How much wood would a woodprince chuck if a woodprince would chuck wood?"


"Let's find out. Whoever knocks down the least buys the beer." Jon grabbed a broken log from the palisade. Ozzy had shown them long ago the arcane art of Caber Tossing. They weren't as strong as he was, but they could chuck trees downrange with good accuracy, using some strange skill they'd learned from the Ironwood Ents. All three workers armed themselves, and when the charging Krax were a hundred feet away, they heaved their logs into the air. With two heartbeats' hangtime, the enemy line was only seventy-five feet away when the logs hit.


Ozzy's throw would have won a medal at the Scottish Games. It soared high, flipping end over end and landing flat, knocking down and killing two Krax before bouncing and flipping again into the back ranks of lesser tribes. Cham's throw was similar, but didn't get the additional bounce. The end of his log was jagged and got stuck in the chest of Claw Leader Urrak. Jon somehow put spin on his and the log slowly turned horizontal, hitting flat right in front of the Krax, bounced four feet high and hit the line perfectly, knocking down five Krax in the first rank and six in the second. He would have celebrated, but Ozzy had called his charge as he threw his caber.


"Butcher's Brigade, Hit them Hard! Time to make the Sausage!"