Chapter 382: Chapter 370: It Doesn’t Matter
Fengyu lay on a simple cot, her eyes wet and inflamed, her cheeks flushed red, her neck and arms covered in rashes—typical symptoms of the epidemic that had come on fiercely. Her consciousness was somewhat murky. When Xie Xun held her, she could distinctly feel his breath and desperately shoved him away. She was infected with the disease, and being so close, their breaths mingling—she feared Xie Xun would contract it too.
When the refugees clashed violently with the guards, Fengyu and Fang Lingjun were deliberately dragged into the fray. As soon as they entered the quarantine area, no one besides Xie Xun could leave. A sick child immediately collided with Fengyu after they came in. Fang Lingjun tried to keep Fengyu away from the crowds, but ultimately, they couldn’t evade it—Fengyu still fell ill.
"The medicine is here, the medicine is here..." A doctor brought over a bowl. Supplies were tight, and the medicine available was nothing more than a decoction for clearing heat and detoxification. The doctors hadn’t yet developed preventive treatments and couldn’t prescribe based on individual symptoms; with resources so scarce, they could only administer the general remedy to alleviate fever and detoxify.
"Ayu, drink the medicine. After you take it, sleep soundly, you’ll get better soon," Xie Xun said softly, his palm pressed against her forehead. Her temperature was higher than the warmth of his hand, and his heart sank further.
Fengyu breathed lightly and obediently drank the medicine.
Fang Lingjun’s eyes reddened as she pleaded, "Young Marquis, take Ayu out of here. We can find an empty house to isolate her—I’ll care for Ayu myself and make sure she doesn’t infect anyone else. She’s frail, and staying here will kill her."
Regret consumed her. She hated herself for lacking the strength to pull Ayu back when someone deliberately dragged her into the quarantine zone. All she could do was choose to follow Ayu inside. Fear gnawed at her too—the place was filled with sickly figures, rasping coughs, and patients covered in red rashes, their contagion potent. She was terrified of catching the plague. Ever since they entered, corpses had been carried out, accompanied by screams and wails. She feared she would succumb to the illness, perish, and be cremated, her ashes scattered without her parents or brother seeing her one last time.
She was terrified that Ayu would die here!
"No!" Fengyu was woozy but not completely unconscious. Biting her lip to preserve a shred of sanity, she gazed tenderly at the silent Xie Xun. She understood his fear, his anguish about losing her. But he couldn’t take her out of the quarantine zone. Apart from Xie Xun and those who had recovered, no one was permitted to leave. Noble families and commoners alike were treated with the same rigor—anyone infected was sent here. Why should Fengyu be an exception?
If Fengyu could leave, why should others remain trapped?
This was a rule Xie Xun himself had established. If he violated it out of favoritism, his integrity, reputation, and the order he had built would all crumble in an instant. The fortress painstakingly constructed by so many would collapse.
She could only stay.
Even if it meant death!
"I cannot leave!" Fengyu whispered gently, intertwining her fingers with his. "Zhixu, you know it—I cannot leave the quarantine zone. If I go, people will accuse you of bending the rules for your own gain while denying others the same. They’ll curse you for your hypocrisy, for prioritizing love over duty. Yangzhou City is aflame with despair; everyone here is losing something. They’re frightened, angry, full of resentment. I can’t become a tool for others to attack you. Only by staying here can I prove that Prince Qin is impartial, that his heart is with the people, that he truly wishes to endure the hardship with Yangzhou City. If I leave, Zhixu’s efforts will be for naught, and he’ll lose the trust of the people entirely. The quarantine zone will descend into chaos—conflicts and riots will erupt, and the entire city will perish in this plague. ... I cannot leave!"
"But Ayu, the medicine is running out—what will you do?" Fang Lingjun’s tears fell as she looked anxiously at the frail Fengyu, her torment palpable. "I’m scared, Ayu..."
Fengyu was afraid too. Who wasn’t afraid of death?
Before, to survive, she had been mercilessly self-serving. In a moment of desperation, she had traded the Soul Suppressing Pearl with Xie Xun, sacrificing others to save herself.
Now, for Xie Xun, she was willing to stay behind.
Unafraid of life or death!
"Young Marquis, say something!" Fang Lingjun urged, distressed, hoping Xie Xun would disregard everything and take Ayu away. She didn’t have such lofty resolve and didn’t want to lose her closest friend for anyone.
Holding Fengyu in his arms, Xie Xun remained silent. He didn’t speak, his pain and fear buried deep within that quiet stillness. Inside, he was being torn apart.
One half, Xie Zhixu, screamed for him to take Fengyu away—to let Yangzhou save itself if it must. What did those strangers matter to him? Losing Fengyu would leave him hollow, a walking corpse robbed of joy forever.
The other half, Xie Zhixu, with reddened eyes, warned him of the consequences. If he left, his vows and convictions would become laughingstocks. Look around—the elderly reaching their twilight years, infants still nursing at their mothers, pregnant women cradling unborn lives, innocent children unaware of the horrors—they had all pinned their hopes on him. They wanted to survive. If he left and the quarantine zone unraveled, who would hold it together?
How would they live?
The two sides of Xie Zhixu fought within him, tearing his heart to shreds.
"It’s alright!" Fengyu’s fingertips brushed over his brows as tears gradually pooled in Xie Xun’s eyes. He gazed at her frail yet smiling face, his heart aching unbearably.
His girl understood his despair, unwilling to make things harder for him, even deciding for him.
"I’ll try my hardest, work so very hard to hold on until you come to save me," Fengyu said. "Don’t be afraid, Zhixu!"
"...Alright!"