Chapter 219: 219-Watching Them All Go
Clementine:
"Take care, okay?" Troy said, brushing his finger gently across my cheek before pulling his hand back. He remembered I’d told them not to touch me again. I was glad they respected that. I didn’t want to keep reminding them.
"You too," I told Troy as he left the room.
The more people walked out, the more I realized how hard it would be staying behind with no one but Ian. Now it was just Ian, Yorick, and me.
I wished my number was next, but it wasn’t. We hadn’t opened our envelopes yet, so none of us knew where we were headed or what number we’d get.
After a few more minutes of silence, Yorick was finally called. He stood, clutching his bag in his fist before swinging it over his shoulder. Wearing a black jacket, he walked toward me.
"We will meet again," he murmured, his voice low.
The thing about Yorick was that, unlike the others who were sent away by stepmothers or stepfathers, he was sent by his own parents.
Deep down, I think that really broke him. He would tell people it was his step-parents, switching up his stories, because maybe the truth was too painful to admit.
"You too." I gave the same reply I’d given everyone else.
He nodded, then glanced at Ian, who kept his head down, busy with his bag. Yorick left, and suddenly it was just Ian and me, with the lurker still standing in the doorway.
I sat down on my bed. I wasn’t going to greet Ian unless he did it first.
"You need to understand," Ian finally said, "we both need space so we can clear our heads and think."
I had expected him to speak up now, he only ever did when no one else was around.
"It’s fine. You don’t have to explain anything to me," I cut him off almost instantly. He shook his head.
"I know you’re upset, but you need to understand I did it for you. You wouldn’t be okay living with strangers." He was trying to fix the careless words he’d thrown out in front of the others, the way he’d snapped so fast to reject introducing me to his family.
"Ian, I said it’s fine. You don’t need to explain now, not when you wouldn’t before the others." My voice was loud and clear. I hated his hypocrisy.
He went quiet.
"I don’t get it," he said at last. Then he added, slowly, "Back in the North, when we felt the mate bond..."
He paused, his voice dropping to a whisper, almost afraid the lurker would overhear. The lurkers already knew Haiden had felt a mate bond with me, so it would seem strange if they found out Ian had too.
"You made it clear you weren’t interested in me, that you didn’t want to pursue anything. But every time I let it go, every time I stay silent, I see your face and know you’re upset with me. I don’t know what to do. What do you want me to do?"
For the first time, he used his hands as he spoke. I had never seen Ian so anxious before.
"When did I say I have expectations from you?" I hissed, pausing a little before continuing, "You know what? Just forget it. I don’t want to talk about this."
"Clementine, either tell me what you expect from me, or I don’t know what to say," he snapped.
"I’m not like your other mates who’ll be all over you all the time. I’m not some hopeless romantic. This is it. Don’t expect what others do. If you have a problem, come to me directly and say what you want. This hide-and-seek—where you tell me you don’t want anything, you won’t pursue anything, yet you expect me to chase you—this won’t work. I’m not that person."
His words were harsh, and so was his tone. I would have appreciated it if he hadn’t unloaded like that right before leaving, because now I’d be alone in the guest room, thinking on his cruel words and how pursuing his mate felt like a chore for him.
I took a deep breath and nodded, staying silent.
"Now, are you going to say anything?" he asked, and I felt my jaw clench.
"No. I don’t think there’s anything left to say." I lifted my head and said it, watching him roll his eyes and throw his head back in frustration.
"Fine, then we won’t talk about it," he muttered, flopping back on the bed.
After a while, it was his time finally. The lurker stepped in and snapped his fingers to get his attention. He rose, grabbed three bags, mostly books, and walked up to my bed, stopping in front of me. He stood there for a long moment, like he was waiting for me to react. I stared at his boots without looking up.
Then, after the silence stretched, he suddenly bent down and kissed the top of my head. It felt strange. I wanted to shove him away, but I was frozen and too upset to move.
He must have expected a reaction, because he waited a while, and when I didn’t respond, he finally left. I watched him go from the corner of my eye. Once he was gone, I was alone. I sniffed and wiped the hopeless tear from my cheek.
I sat on my bed waiting for my call, but the lurker who’d been watching us was gone.
There was no one else to talk to, so I just sat and waited. When no one came to collect me for hours, I opened my envelope out of curiosity, and what I found really, really triggered me.
Sadly, it was the address of my dorm room.
I was going to be alone at the academy, stuck in my dorm while everyone else went off to enjoy themselves.
I bit my bottom lip and started to shiver, hugging myself. I didn’t know if it was a joke or some kind of mockery, but it broke me.
I wanted to get away like everyone else, but I had no family and I couldn’t leave. Now I was trapped in a silence full of memories.
I slammed the door and flopped onto the bed, burying my face in the pillow and crying softly.