Chapter 354: Caring_Part 3
Rav looked up impulsively at her words. So, she had noticed he slept on his chest last night? he wondered as he nodded again.
"Yes, milady," he told her, and then realized she wasn’t going to lay down on the bed. Instead, she was staring at him. Was she waiting to watch him lay down? Rav wondered again as he hesitantly made his way to the bedding she had made for him.
He lowered himself onto the floor and felt the double blankets she had placed beneath him, making it soft like a mattress. When he put his head on the soft pillow, he noticed she was still standing at the side of his bedding and had not gone to lie down on the bed. Rav frowned but said nothing. What was she waiting for?
He tried not to stare at her as he closed his eyes, but it was then he felt her move and cover him with another sheet, and his eyes flew open.
"My lady, you_"
"Just making sure you are fine," Evenly said, sounding firm. But in truth, she was stalling for time, delaying going back to bed as the rain outside grew stronger along with the thunder.
Rav felt his heart skip as she tucked him in like one would someone they cared for. Though he was ashamed to admit it, or even to think it, his late wife had never tucked him in bed, not even on nights when he became sick from overworking. She had only made him soup and then left him to fend for himself.
Sometimes he would need her help, shivering from fever as he tried to lift a spoon of soup to his mouth. But knowing she would complain about his lack of help in the house because of his sickness, Rav had learned to take care of himself and not depend on anyone. No matter how weak or sick, he did his own bidding and never complained.
Having someone else do something for him, after such a very long time, made his heart feel strangely warm in a way.
"Thank you..." he murmured softly as she pulled away.
After she moved from his side, Rav couldn’t sleep. He stared at the ceiling where flashes of lightning glowed faintly through the room. A loud thunder rattled the things around them, and he thought he heard someone whimper. But then he dismissed it as his mind tried to wrap around why he was feeling affected by the lady in a way he did not want to feel.
Perhaps because everything he touched in this room carried her scent.
She was—
"Rav," came a small voice in his head. It was the woman on the bed, speaking through their mind link. His thoughts cut off immediately, and he turned his eyes toward the bed through the darkened room.
"Yes, milady?"
"Oh, I thought you were sleeping," Evenly said, hugging Angel’s small body to her chest. But even that wasn’t enough to distract her from the rumbling thunder that made her jumpy and flinch every time.
"No, I am not," Rav replied. "Do you need something?" he asked, but she was silent for a long time before finally saying, "Yes."
Rav immediately pushed himself into a sitting position. "What is it, my lady? Are you thirsty?" he questioned, knowing she had not yet learned to control her vampire’s thirst the way he had.
"No... can you come and lay down on the bed?" she said, and then hurriedly added, "I don’t like thunders and storms, ever since I was a little girl. I always had someone beside me when it rained."
Evenly might have grown up in a land where it rained almost all year round with constant thunder, but one could not blame her. She had lost her mother on the night of a thunderstorm, and it had remained her very nightmare. Before she got married, her father had always assigned her a maidservant to sleep beside her during storms, knowing of her fears. And after her marriage, at night Josh had been there to hold her, and nights he wasn’t there, she had her maid.
The thunder never bothered her during the day like it did at night. Her mother had been killed when she was just a little girl, and it had been thundering that night when it happened in their house. The incident had left in her a deep fear of thunderstorm nights, one that no matter how many years passed, she could never overcome.
She had run all the way from Belle’s room earlier because of the thunder, and even now, she kept herself distracted by doing unnecessary things so she could delay Rav from going to sleep.
She knew what she was asking was outrageous, especially from the man sharing a room with her. But if she didn’t feel another person’s presence on the bed with her, she might end up waking Angel from how tightly she clutched him every time thunder clapped.
"Please... just for tonight," Evenly pleaded softly, hoping he wouldn’t turn her down.
She felt a slight movement from where he lay and, for a moment, thought he was about to rise and come to her. But when the movement stilled and he gave no reply, she realized he was ignoring her. Disappointment swelled in her heart.
Rav had never answered her polite requests unless she gave him a command. Even months ago, when she begged for his company in her loneliness during rainy nights, he had refused to speak to her or give her any guidance as a new vampire. He shut her out and left her to face the rainy nights alone in Nightbrook, where the thunder sounded even louder to a vampire’s sharp ears.
Now, she wasn’t surprised he seemed to have shut her out again. Yet she couldn’t help the disappointment, nor stop herself from chiding her own foolishness for believing he might, at least by now, consider her a friend.
Evenly was biting back a cry as another loud thunder rumbled and shook the house when she suddenly felt the space behind her dip down, a weight settling there.
"This is not right, my lady," Rav said as he settled himself onto the bed that wasn’t very big. His voice was calm, but his chest tightened painfully, because every step closer to her felt like betrayal to his late wife, like a wound reopening inside him. He had sworn to his wife’s memory that no other woman would ever lie beside him, no other touch would matter.
To be here now, even in innocence, felt like he was shattering the promise he had lived by.
"There’s nothing wrong with laying on the same bed when we’re not doing anything wrong," Evenly remarked brightly, grateful for his company on the bed. "Even if we did do something wrong, I don’t think it’s anyone’s business." Her tense body finally relaxed.
Rav cleared his throat. "You shouldn’t think that way. It is bad for unmarried couples to lie like this or do anything like that," he said, unable to help the chiding tone in his voice toward the lady, who viewed things differently from how he did. But then, he wasn’t so surprised, she had been born in Nightbrook, where women were bolder than ever.
Evenly, on the other hand, had no intention of doing anything other than needing his presence beside her. But his words made her chuckle softly in amusement.
"For a man who has lived so many years in Nightbrook, you are too innocent, Rav. And I have always had a thing or two for innocent men. They are cute sometimes."
Rav didn’t believe his reply was needed to that shameless remark, so he asked instead, "Are you satisfied now?" His words came out gruff, though not out of anger but out of his own struggle to breathe properly with her so close.
"Almost. Move closer so I can feel your presence more," Evenly said, causing Rav to almost choke on his own saliva as heat rushed to his face.
"I... I don’t think I should do that. You—"
"Then I will move," Evenly interrupted as she shifted, carrying Angel with her until her back pressed firmly against Rav’s side.
Rav stiffened like a rock, his body freezing in place. Shame and longing warred inside him, tearing at him. No matter what he told himself, he was still a man. He had not asked for this closeness, yet his body betrayed him, burning with awareness of her warmth.
What have I gotten myself into? he wondered as his eyes darted toward the female form pressed so close beside him. His heart ached with guilt, yet beneath it, something stirred, an unwanted comfort, the kind that could undo every wall he had built since the night he lost everything.