Chapter 404: Where Astral is hiding_Part 2
She tried to remain still and unresponsive, but the combination of his delightful kneading of tired muscles and the angle of her position would not allow it. She jerked back her feet as he rubbed her heel, but he caught them quickly and drew them back onto his lap.
He had had enough of her shutting him out emotionally. He would make her feel again, make her come back to life, until she finally told him what had happened to her when he wasn’t there. Because deep down, he knew something else had happened, something more than what she had let him see.
His eyes remained fixed on her feet as he massaged them, wanting to earn a pleasurable reaction from her one way or the other, whether a sigh of relief, a breath of pleasure, or even a little giggle from the tickling sensation.
Her skirt spilled over the edge of the bed, the fabric falling in a sapphire sheen to the floor. He held her heel in one hand and gently rubbed her foot with the other, then slid his touch up to the back of her ankle. The dress rumpled slightly with his movement as his hand glided upward to her calf.
He kneaded her calves firmly, then slipped one hand back to her toes, wriggling them apart one by one in a maneuver that made them curl.
She gave a breathless gasp and yanked her feet back with force, tucking them beneath her dress as if to hide them from him. She didn’t give any of the reactions he wanted, and he thought she didn’t like him massaging her feet. Hence, he gave up and moved instead to slowly begin unbuttoning her dress so he could loosen her corset and help her sleep better, if that was what she truly wanted.
He was carefully undoing her corset when he noticed her temperature was hot. He pressed the back of his hand to her neck and frowned at the heat. He brought the lamp from the stand closer to her sleeping form and noticed her skin flushed red, as though a flame was burning underneath. Her breathing was becoming labored, which made Rohan’s worry deepen before he shook her awake.
"Isa!"
The moment her eyes snapped open, the flush on her skin faded instantly. She turned drowsy, heavy-lidded eyes to him before closing them again and turning her head in the other direction, ignoring him.
Rohan was not only worried about her well-being but about the fact that they needed to talk about everything he had discovered about Isabelle, about what had happened, and about finding ways to sever any connections she shared with that Isabelle. He wanted to set her free from those memories and the deceased, to let her rest, and to allow his wife to live her own life so they could look forward to a future.
Many times he had wanted to start the conversation, but her withdrawn mood made him hold back, hoping she would be in a better frame of mind before they discussed it. Yet seeing the flames and being reminded that the connection was still there, he couldn’t help but feel he could no longer continue to let her be like this.
He had given her time and had been patient for two full weeks, but he didn’t believe he could remain so if she continued to act this way, brushing him and his worries aside like he no longer meant anything to her, shutting herself away from her family, when until now they had always faced things together.
"Isa," Rohan called coaxingly as he knelt at her bedside, but if she heard him, she didn’t open her eyes or acknowledge him. That made him lose his control a little, giving in to the anger he had tried so hard to suppress since she wouldn’t give in to hers.
"God damnit, Isa, talk to me! What the hell is wrong with you? I can’t stand your silence anymore! I can’t stand the way you have become," he whispered-shouted, trying to keep his temper under some control. "Say something. Did they do something to you in the asylum before I came for you? Tell me! Say—"
"Rohan, please... leave me alone..." came her small voice, cutting him off mid-sentence and making him freeze where he was. "I want to sleep. Perhaps I will feel better after I sleep. We will talk then. For now, can you go away?"
Rohan stared at her for a full minute without blinking or saying a word, torn between insisting that they talk right now so she could snap out of it, or letting her be like she asked. She meant far too much to him to insist or force her. Had she been anyone else, he would have hurled her out of the bed, sat her up, shake her to her senses, and made her listen to everything he has to say of her recent behavior. But instead of doing that, he slowly got to his feet.
Leaning down, he pulled the blanket from under her body and covered her with it. He reached out and stroked her hair tenderly despite the pin-like pain twisting his heart into constriction. Pressing a soft kiss to her forehead, he whispered into her ear, "Goodnight, my love."
She didn’t move or say anything as he straightened. He left the room, fighting the urge not to slam the door behind him out of his anger and hurt.
When he left the room, Belle opened her eyes and stared blankly at the opposite wall, where the flickering lights of the candle danced with the shadows.
"Snap out of it, Belle. Your family needs you. You are not Isabelle. What happened to her is not yours to carry..." she whispered to herself, listening to the fading footsteps of her husband and hearing him slam the door of another room. The sound reverberated through the silent castle, where she barely even remembered how they had arrived as she had been so caught up in different incoherent thoughts.
"You have to be present... please, let me be normal. If you can hear me, Isabelle, let me live my life without carrying your emotions. You have been dead for so long, don’t take my life with you. I have people who make me want to stay alive, people who love me... if you are in my body, get out..." she whispered again, striking her chest with her hand as though trying to push out the constriction.
She didn’t want to feel this miserable anymore. She wanted to be here, in the world of the living, instead of thinking about crossing over to the land of the dead. She didn’t want to go there, but a part of her kept trying to convince her she belonged there more than she belonged here.